As an ardent garden lover (among other loves) I had gone to a nursery to pick up some summer plants. I purchased 12 sunflower plants from my trusted gardener. When he brought them to me I found that they were almost full grown plants, that had already begun to wilt after being uprooted. I felt cheated, but the gardener assured me that they would take root and bloom. I had to trust him.
I put down the plants and watered them. I knew that the first 24 hours were crucial for survival. Some seemed to have taken root the next day, but many had drooped and wilted. Again I felt cheated, but didn’t give up hope. I nursed them and was pleasantly surprised to find that even the droopiest one had taken root. Sunflower plants, by nature, turn towards the sun. So now I had another problem; the plants were warped and contorted. The stems had stiffened. What was I to do? I put bamboo splints into the pots, and gently bound the stems to them, despite the contortions. Any use of force would only have broken those fragile stems. Wonder of wonders, the plants now began to grow erect, and even to bud. A miracle of nature, aided by persistent and caring human endeavour.
Thereby hangs a tale. Many of us are like drooping, wilted or warped plants. We may have been emotionally scarred or starved of love and understanding. We may have given up hope, lost the will to fight or possibly resigned ourselves to our fate. We may become “touch me nots”, and withdraw into our shells. We are afraid to love or be loved. This in turn breeds fear, insecurity, anger, jealousy and resentment. We become anti-social, and in extreme cases, violent or inhuman.
When we see what is happening all around – rape, murder, religious fanaticism, divorce, abuse, exploitation, injustice etc, we are constrained to conclude that many of us are sick, and in dire need of inner healing. How did we come to such a pass? What are the root causes, and wherein lies the remedy?
Some examples from nature would suffice. Sometimes a papaya seed may fall in the shadow of my roof, and take root. When it reaches the roof level, it turns towards the sky and sun, like the sunflower. Once it finds the sun it again grows straight, but the kink in its trunk remains. Nature is unable to remedy itself. Now let us take a mango tree sapling. If I make a deep cut in its stem with a sharp implement, the tree will continue to grow, but the cut will widen with time. The chasm will deepen. Not so for a full-grown tree whose bark is hard. I will then quite literally be scratching at the surface. So we see that the younger or more tender a person is, the deeper goes the indelible mark of emotional affliction.
Let us take two more everyday examples. A potter moulds a clay vessel. It has a lovely shape but no inherent strength, because it has not yet been baked in a kiln at high temperatures. If water is poured into this vessel in this raw state it will collapse under its own weight. So too with human beings; especially in the realm of sex. A young person may have raw sexual potential, but not the knowledge or experience to handle its responsibilities and consequences. Hence there is the omnipresent danger of being exposed to circumstances that one is not fully ready for, and then getting emotionally shattered. One needs emotional maturity that comes with being baked in the “crucible of suffering”, of growing up, before premature exposure.
The other example is of a broken mirror. No matter how expertly it is repaired it cannot be smooth and even, and the images it reflects will always be distorted. This is how it is with many of us who, as a consequence of emotional hurt, have a distorted, jaundiced or prejudiced worldview.
Now let us take a glass of water. If, intentionally or inadvertently, it is tipped over, the water flows out. But the glass is not empty; it is now filled with air, as nature abhors a vacuum. So too with the human heart. It is intended to be a receptacle of love. If it is hurt it does not remain empty. That space is filled by insecurity, fear, resentment, anger, rebellion etc that could even assume violent proportions.
So where does all this lead us? The solutions lie in the very examples given, beginning with the last. How does one remove the air from the apparently empty glass? Quite simply, by pouring water back into it. So too we have to pour love back into broken and wounded hearts. There are various sources of human love – from a friend, relative, a spouse or a person of responsibility. This could help the healing process, atleast superficially.
Then we have the sunflower plant. It not only needed nurturing, but also an external support like the bamboo stick. So a wounded person may require a security net – a safe place to stay, job or economic security, social acceptance, expert guidance, counseling; and in extreme cases medical attention. Obviously there is no “one size fits all”. Each case is unique. Wounded persons need constant support and reassurance till such time as they can come into their own.
Another natural therapy is what St Francis of Assisi said, and Mother Teresa took to heart; that it is in giving that we receive. My wife has been working for the physically challenged for the last 25 years. She says that it is a privilege to serve them, for she gets from them more than she gives. This is the joy of giving; of being able to come out of one’s self, to share another’s pain. I often quote the adage, “I cried because I had no shoes, till I saw the man who had no feet”.
While acknowledging that nature has some inbuilt healing mechanisms, it also has its limitations. As with the papaya or mango tree, it may grow but its inherent defect will remain. What nature cannot, the supernatural can. This is what is referred to as Inner Healing in the Charismatic Renewal. Having experienced it myself, and having helped hundreds of others, I can vouch for its efficacy. Jesus is the great healer. He does not repair the fallen Adam; he makes a new Adam. Our broken mirror is not repaired; it is remade. That is one big difference. As scripture says “”Look I am making the whole of creation new” (Rev 21:5).
So too with the glass. Scripture says “God is love … love is made perfect in us … There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear. So then, love has not been made perfect in anyone who is afraid, because fear has to do with punishment. We love because God first loved us” (1Jn 4:16-19). I have found this passage one of the most powerful for inner healing.
My last example is that of the songwriter. Our lives are like a tape recorder, picking up messages along the way. If we have, especially in early childhood, picked up messages like – I am alone/ nobody loves me/ all men(women) are bad/ don’t trust anybody/ you are shy/ ugly/ failure/ useless etc, these messages will echo throughout our natural lives. They will haunt us and stunt or colour our growth. How do we erase and replace these messages? One has to first press the Rewind button; to go back in time to the origin of one’s being, even to the moment of conception. A skillful counselor or healer knows how to take a person back in time. But there could also be a lurking danger, as not all of us may be strong enough to peel the onion and discover our multi layered true selves. This is where the difference between a professional counselor and an inner healer comes in. The healer empathizes fully with the subject.
A counselor or a psychoanalyst may be able to analyse my behaviour, but does not have the power to heal, or to replace the voices in the long-playing record. He may identify the root causes, but cannot eradicate them. Here is where the inner healer comes in. He does not just ask us to press the Rewind button. He simultaneously attaches an external microphone before pressing the Play button. A new message is coming in through the microphone that doesn’t just erase the old message, but overwrites it with a new one.
Some of the new messages could be – “Come to me, all of you who labour and are overburdened, and I will give you rest” (Mat 11:28), “Courage! It’s me! Don’t be afraid” (Mat 14:28), “Peace I bequeath to you, my own peace I give to you, a peace that the world cannot give, this is my gift to you” (Jn 14:27), “He will wipe away all tears from their eyes; there will be no more death, and no more mourning or sadness or pain. The world of the past has gone” (Rev 21:4). These are words of comfort, solace, wholeness and healing.
This process depends on both the skill of the healer and the faith of the person seeking liberation from past bondage. Let us hope and pray that just as just as I did not give up on the sunflower plants in my garden, some of those who read this piece will also not give up, and face the adversities of life with faith and fortitude.
(This piece is based on a presentation given at a youth orientation programme organized by the Maids of the Poor, a Secular Institute, at Mohanlalganj, Lucknow on 15th March 2015)
MARCH 2015
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