The term “Love Jihad” is an oxymoron, a contradiction in terms. Jihad is derived from the Arabic word Jahada that literally means accomplishing a task or attaining a goal by strength and force, be it for propagating good or fighting evil. Assertion by force or strength is antithetical to love.
St Paul describes it as “Love is patient and kind, love is not jealous or boastful, it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong; but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Cor 13:4-7).
It is obvious then that love and jihad are by their very nature incompatible, even if undertaken for a good cause. It is possible that this phrase owes its origin to a 2022 Malayalam movie by the same name. Sadly, as with “The Kerala Story”, that highly educated State seems to have fallen prey to Islamophobia. This includes Christian religious leaders.
Inter religious (inter-faith) marriages, and to a lesser extent inter-caste marriages, have in recent years been at the receiving end of the Hindutva brigade that perceives it as a conspiracy to lure away unsuspecting Hindu girls, often by deceit or misrepresentation (hiding one’s religious identity). Such cases, though few and far between, are blown out of proportion by a pliant media, especially the vernacular press.
Going against the current, a meeting as held on 27th February at Moti Mahal, Lucknow, to honour those who had entered into such marriages; braving all odds from society, religious leaders and family members. This meeting was organised by Anand Wardhan Singh of the Society for Communal Harmony, Shabi Fatima of the Social Equality Front and Magsaysay awardee Dr Sandeep Pande of the Socialist Party (India). Dr Roop Rekha Verma, former Vice Chancellor of Lucknow University, was the Chief Guest.
She had been in the forefront of supporting and encouraging such couples, including having their marriages registered under the Special Marriage Act 1954. Speaking with passion and righteous anger she condemned all actions, including legislative acts, that sought to curb such inter faith marriages. Tragically, regressive legislations have been enacted in States like Uttarakhand, U.P. and M.P. In Uttarakhand even live-in relationships have drawn the ire of the government. Such couples have to register their relationship in court. This defies all logic.
Even the “U.P. Prevention of Unlawful Conversion of Religion Act” of 2021 has recently been made more stringent. Earlier, as per section 4, an “aggrieved person” who could file a First Information Report for so-called forced conversion was a relation. This has now been amended so that just about any person can be “aggrieved” by an inter faith marriage and allege forced conversion.
This is draconian and patently unjust, she said. The government has absolutely no business interfering in the personal life and love of an adult couple, whomsoever they may be, she reiterated.
Dr Sandeep Pande said that earlier unscrupulous and lumpen elements indulged in horror (earlier euphemistically referred to as “honour” killings) where Khap Panchayats (village elders) look it upon themselves to teach a lesson to “errant lovebirds”; by lynching them. Unfortunately, now even those who approach the courts for submitting their applications for marriage, are being targeted by religious fanatics. There were two such recent incidents in M.P. It is a complete travesty of justice if religious zealots take the law into their own hands. Such heinous acts must be condemned by all those who believe in justice, secularism and the rule of law.
He said that it was the duty of civil society to protect couples from such criminal intimidation. This gathering was a step in that direction to send a message that such couples are not alone. Social and religious reformers stand by them.
On this occasion over 20 couples – inter-faith, inter-caste and inter-State, were honoured with shawls and mementoes. More important was the message “You are not alone, we stand by you”. Several couples shared their stories, including the opposition that they faced from various quarters, and how they overcame those hurdles.
chhotebhai, Convenor of the Kanpur Nagrik Manch (Citizen’s Forum) led a team of 5 to attend the meeting. He first shared how 8 members of his family had entered into such marriages. He then explained how the Catholic Church had become very liberal in this area, as expressed in its Canon Law enacted in 1983.
Canon 1125:1 does stipulate that such marriages should obtain permission from the concerned bishop. This permission is not denied, especially in north India. There is also no obligation to bring up the children in the Catholic faith. They are only asked to do their best to do so (Ibid). Canons 1059 and 1071:2 showed due respect for Civil Law, giving it traction over its own Canon Law.
He also shared insights from a book “Pastoral Care of Mixed Marriage Families in the Agra Ecclesiastical Region: Challenges and Responses” by Rev Dr Maxim Santosh D’Sa, a priest of Agra. His research covered the three northern States of Uttarakhand, U.P. and Rajasthan over a 5-year period from 2013 to 2017. Of 3269 marriages solemnised in Catholic churches over that period, 1393 (43%) were with non-Catholics. Regretfully, he did not elaborate or segregate how many of those were non-Catholic or non-Christian. That would have been even more enlightening. Besides, this does not factor in marriages that were not solemnised in the Catholic churches. Had that been so the number could well be over 50%.
From the above we may conclude that mixed marriages are here to stay. Instead of opposing them; society, family, political and religious leaders need to support and counsel them. On his part chhotebhai assured the gathering that the Kanpur Nagrik Manch would be organising a similar programme in Kanpur. Delegates from Lucknow or elsewhere would be more than welcome. All said and done it is love alone that endures. It never ends (1 Cor 13:8).
Also read “Love’s Dark Secrets” and “Love Jihad – Catholic style”
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