THE POWER OF 2X2

Most roadways buses have a 2×3 seat configuration; that is, 5 seats in a row. Since that is cramped, luxury buses are 2×2 giving long distance travellers enough leg space.

I am writing this after attending Mass on Sunday 20th July. The first reading (Gen 18:1-10) and the gospel (Lk 10:38-42) both had two principal players each. The first had Abraham and Sarah while the second had Martha and Mary. It was significant that both the readings were on the same day.

This is because several celibate preachers read too much into the Martha-Mary episode while welcoming Jesus into their home. Jesus reprimands Martha while praising Mary for having chosen the “better part” (Lk 10:42). This has often been portrayed as the virgin who dedicates herself to God; and being superior to the married woman who is busy about worldly affairs.

Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians, pushes this further. “The unmarried woman and the virgin gives her mind to the Lord’s affairs and to being holy in body and spirit; but the married woman gives her mind to the affairs of the world and to how she can please her husband” (I Cor 7:34). Fortunately Paul begins this particular exhortation with the rider “About people remaining virgin, I have no directions from the Lord but I give my own opinion” (v 25).  Nevertheless he ends by saying “She would be happier if she stayed as she is (unmarried) to my way of thinking – and I believe that I too have the Spirit of the God” (v 40).

This distorted idea is based on Paul’s mistaken notion that the end of the world was imminent. “What I mean my brothers is that the time has become limited” (v 29). Proponents of such eschatological virginity gloss over another statement by Paul that they should stop buying property (v 30). If virginity is an index of eschatological imminence then why do these same proponents (Catholic priests and religious) go on buying so much property? Why such a selective reading of Paul’s exhortation? Double standards.

This is why I am reiterating the significance of Abraham and Sarah on the same day as Martha and Mary. Martha was “reprimanded” by Jesus for being busy in making various preparations for him. “Lord, do you not care that my sister is leaving me to do the serving all by myself? Please tell her to help me” (Lk 10:40). In sharp contrast Abraham was blessed for going out of his way to serve his divine guests with fresh bread, a fattened calf, curd and milk (Gen 18:6-8). As an immediate consequence Sarah is given the blessing that she will now bear a child (v 10). This too, despite Sarah’s scepticism and unbelief. “Sarah had ceased to have her monthly periods. So Sarah laughed to herself, thinking – Now that I am past the age of childbearing, and my husband is an old man, is pleasure to come my way again?” (v 11).

I am belabouring the point to counter the gross misinterpretation of the Martha reprimand. It was specific to the given circumstances, certainly not a general prescription. At that point in time Jesus was prioritising his message over food that was secondary. I therefore hope and pray that preachers will give a decent burial to this virginity versus married life debate. Both are precious in the eyes of the Lord.

There is another incident at Bethany where Martha and Mary resided. It was the death of their brother Lazarus. Here there is a role reversal. While Mary “remained sitting” (Jn 11:20) it was Martha who wrested the initiative to meet Jesus half way (ibid). Bethany also sets the record straight for another disciple. Thomas has for long been derided as a doubter (cf Jn 20: 24-25), but at Bethany it was he who first spoke up to say that, despite the danger, “Let us also go to die with him” (v 16).  The point therefore is that we should not blow any verse from scripture out of proportion, or out of context.

Now let us see what contemporary church teaching has to say about marriage. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says that “Sacred scripture begins with the creation of man and woman in the image and likeness of God and concludes with a vision of the wedding feast of the Lamb” (CCC 1602, cf Gen 1:26-27, Rev 19:7-9). And again, “The Church attaches great importance to Jesus’ presence at the wedding feast of Cana” (CCC 1613, cf Jn 2:1-11), the first miracle.

Echoing these sentiments the Dogmatic Constitution of the Church, the most important document of Vatican II, says, “The family is, so to speak, the domestic church” (LG 11). Even Canon Law has changed. It earlier said that the primary goal of marriage was procreation. It now states that marriage “is ordered to the well being of the spouses and to the procreation and upbringing of children” (Can 1055:1). So human companionship comes first.

I myself am a twin, hence conceived in companionship. Over the years I have discovered that be it life or work, I need a companion to rise to my full potential. I have met the President, Prime Minister, Union Ministers, Governors, Cardinals, Nuncios etc, but never alone. Hence I am a firm believer in the power of 2X2.

From the beginning of time we find that God said “It is not right that the man should be alone. I shall make him a helper (companion)” (Gen 2:18). At the beginning of his public ministry we read “The Lord appointed seventy two others and sent them out ahead of him two by two” (Lk 10:1). In the Acts of the Apostles we read, “I want Barnabas and Saul set apart for the work to which I have called them” (Acts 13:2). Again, “Paul wanted Timothy to accompany him” (Acts 16:3).

I cut my teeth in community service 56 years ago through the Legion of Mary. It has a strict rule regarding house or hospital visitation. Legionaries were always allotted duties in pairs. It is for this reason that I always advocate having two priests in one place rather than one priest each in two places.

When I made my first 30-day Ignatian retreat with Fr Dan Rice SJ in 1980 I was told to meditate for a full day on the Fall of the Angels. It seemed absurd. There was nothing to go by. But I experienced Hell. It is not a devastating fire; it is loneliness, being all alone in nothingness. Everything was black, the absence of all colour. Small wonder then that at the beginning of time the Creator said “It is not good for man to be alone”. God believes in the power of 2X2. So do I.

8 responses to “THE POWER OF 2X2”

  1. Blaise Costabir Avatar

    Chotebhai, i love the way you use daily experiences to explain gospel passages, you have very nicely brought out the equality of celibacy or virginity and marriage. They are both sides of teh same coin. And yes there is duplicity in the church, young people are questioning but leave when they do not get the answers or see the duplicity.

  2. Richard Peter Avatar
    Richard Peter

    I find it unique reflection of readings

  3. joseph chira Avatar

    dear chhotebhai, you have pointed out the beauty of both marriage and virginity as 2×2.
    you are a great teacher of catechism to the youth of today. i wonder how the dioceses and parishes could draw on your wisdom and practical approach to bringing doctrine alive to the old and the young.

  4. Manohar Ambrose Bhatti Avatar
    Manohar Ambrose Bhatti

    In sacraments ,No 7th is not recieved by the priests but the married pastors do recieve the 7th sacraments.

  5. Mathew M.V. Avatar

    congrats,excellent sharing,Thank you

  6. Prof. Augustine Veliath Avatar
    Prof. Augustine Veliath

    Let me apply Transactional Analysis to Mary and Martha for what it is worth.

    In the Gospel story of Martha and Mary, Martha embodies the Critical Parent and Adapted Child ego states in Transactional Analysis, as she focuses on duties and complains about fairness, driven by a script of overresponsibility and resentment.

    Mary, in contrast, represents the Free Child and Adult states, prioritizing presence and learning at Jesus’ feet without yielding to societal expectations or engaging in conflict.

    Jesus responds from a pure Adult ego state, acknowledging Martha’s stress while redirecting her to what’s essential, effectively resolving the crossed transaction between the sisters.

    This narrative illustrates TA concepts like life scripts and psychological games, where Martha’s busyness seeks validation through service, while Mary’s choice fosters genuine connection. Overall, the story highlights how shifting ego states can promote balance between obligation and devotion in relationships.

  7. Prof. Augustine Veliath Avatar
    Prof. Augustine Veliath

    Let me also compare Mary and Martha as type A and type B personalities.

    In the Gospel story of Martha and Mary, Martha exemplifies a Type A personality through her intense focus on tasks, impatience, and stress from feeling overburdened with hospitality duties, reflecting traits like competitiveness and time urgency.

    Mary, in contrast, embodies a Type B personality by calmly prioritizing listening to Jesus over chores, showcasing patience, relaxation, and a present-moment orientation that avoids unnecessary stress.

    Jesus’ response highlights the value of Mary’s approach, gently encouraging Martha to ease her Type A tendencies and embrace a more balanced, less frantic perspective on what truly matters.

    The key difference lies in their handling of pressure: Martha’s drive leads to resentment and overwhelm, while Mary’s laid-back nature fosters peace and deeper spiritual connection.

    Ultimately, the narrative illustrates how blending Type A ambition with Type B serenity can promote healthier relationships and well-being, as both sisters demonstrate devotion in their distinct ways.

    1. chhotebhai Avatar
      chhotebhai

      Was thrilled to read your responses using Transactional Analysis. My first book The Trinity and Me published in 1977 is based entirely on TA. So is the book Christ’s Idea of Authority by J. Wijngaards. So many thanks.

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